What I put myself through

Another day, another morning at least. This pregnancy has been so hard on me and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I can't work, it's depressing. I mean a good part of the debt we're in is totally my fault and yet there's nothing I can do to help it. I'm so hungry this morning but all we seem to have is kiks cereal and I can't stand that stuff. Oh ya it's a new month I can finally go get a few things but unless I want to walk I had best wait till brian gets off in 6 ours. I hate struggling like this, can't wait till we can have t hings a little more under control. I've got most of the taxes spent now I'm just waiting on receiving them. Not sure how the debt consolidation thing is going to work but hopefully I can get a payment to under 200 a month. At least until brian gets that second job but he's focusing on the police job so much that I'm not sure he'll put his attention on anything else.

He really is a blessing in my life, if only we hadn't gotten in over our heads when it came to the bills and such we could have had some money in the bank if we weren't so careless. Oh well guess it doesn't do any good to dwell on the past. We're having a help the community day next sunday and I think brians going to help out. I wish I could but I just don't think I'd be much use in my condition. It means so much to me when he gets back in to that spirit. He loves giving but often feels out of place and larger gatherings. Well at least I think that's his issue. Love him so much, I'm so blessed that he's in my life!