Giving and recieving love
I had this amazing revelation that I wonder and pray for it's truth. The last few nights my husband has held me close as we fell asleep and my daughter has given me the biggest hugs on a regular basis. In all this time I feel so amazingly loved, just knowing that my family loves and cares for me. It more than anything I have ever received in the past. It's not necessarily that physical contact but the one on one attention. Even having conversations or receiving hugs from my brother in-laws and cousin in-laws although not to the same extent but still give me such a feeling of love and acceptance.
Growing up I remember thriving or rather begging for such attention, wither it was to play a board game, go for a hike or just have a meaningful conversation (that didn't end well whatever you 'want' to happen this is how it's 'going' to happen/be.) I spend many years and am *finally able to see the blessings God has given me from the start. Sometimes I need to not be so selfish. Of coarse the love from my family is going to be different from my spouse or children it's more from a guiding (go figure even parenting) point of view. lol who would have thunk it. Now that I have some amazing mentors in my life I can look back in clarity at the loving guidance my parent's had over and for me and I marvel in the caring loving household that I spent so many years in.
What I *know is true, is that my new family; my husband and daughter and combining family receive and understand that same love I feel from and for them. I want my family to know that with a deep passion I love and care for them with all my heart. That they make me so happy just being who God created them to be. They are the blessings in my life that I am eternally thankful for and I hope they feel the same way.
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Growing up I remember thriving or rather begging for such attention, wither it was to play a board game, go for a hike or just have a meaningful conversation (that didn't end well whatever you 'want' to happen this is how it's 'going' to happen/be.) I spend many years and am *finally able to see the blessings God has given me from the start. Sometimes I need to not be so selfish. Of coarse the love from my family is going to be different from my spouse or children it's more from a guiding (go figure even parenting) point of view. lol who would have thunk it. Now that I have some amazing mentors in my life I can look back in clarity at the loving guidance my parent's had over and for me and I marvel in the caring loving household that I spent so many years in.
What I *know is true, is that my new family; my husband and daughter and combining family receive and understand that same love I feel from and for them. I want my family to know that with a deep passion I love and care for them with all my heart. That they make me so happy just being who God created them to be. They are the blessings in my life that I am eternally thankful for and I hope they feel the same way.
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I know how much your mother and grandmother love and loved you. I wish for you the ability to see past everything, know you are lovable, love yourself and know that all of your family love you. I was shocked by the lack of family caring shown at Aunt Chris' funeral when I know for a fact that all 4 siblings actually loved each other. They were as close as me and my sisters when they were younger. It was said to see the distance but know that Grandma and Mom both love you as much as possible and from the small time I met your Dad so does he. Try to give them a break but mostly give yourself a break. If you can not feel the love from them then talk to them and tell them how much it bothers you. Sue at least will understand and I think Doug will too. Just my nosy parker opinion. Ginny
ReplyDeleteI have, it's so wonderful my eyes were so blind for so long. I hate being so far away from my family but the love that has grown between us is something I know and finally understand. It's such a blessing to finally see that, that words simply can not display my emotion for it.
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